The Power of Positivity

If I was rich, I'd hire some upstart grad student to fill my posts with scientific evidence so I could actually prove that every once in a while, I'm spot on with my life advice.
But I'm not rich, and I'm fresh out of upstart grad students anyway... sooooo this is my "no sources, no in-text citations, and no expert advice" blog post. Proceed with caution You have been warned.
From my own personal experience, I believe that I have learned a lot about the power of positivity in life. I've always been a perpetual optimist, and over the years, my optimism has morphed from a juvenile refusal to acknowledge evil in the world to a more mature (but probably still stupid) belief that despite the evil in the world, there are still so many reasons to be happy and hopeful. This semester, however, has stretched my optimism to the limit.
It's easy to be optimistic about the futures of gas prices when you don't have a car or a license. It's easy to tell a friend to cheer up when you don't have to deal with what she's going through. Basically, it's easy to be optimistic when you are detached from a situation. But when your challenges get upfront and personal, that's when things get difficult. Suddenly, your optimism and happiness becomes a daily fight instead of a reflex. Doubt, despair, and just plain complaints threaten to overtake all of your bright hopes and dreams. This is when positive thinking gets hard, but this is also when it gets important.
When life gets hard, I've found that I need optimism in my life. Often, my challenges are unchangeable. I can't get rid of term papers, I can't force people to do what I want them to do, and I can't make the Cannon Center serve Mahi Mahi tacos on days when I'm not working. The more I complain about these types of things, the more miserable I get. As President Holland says,
"No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse."
Even though we all know this in our heads, the application of said knowledge isn't always smooth sailing. For example, sometimes, I justify negative thinking by saying that it's pushing me to achieve more, that somehow by thinking "gosh Kai, you're a disaster" I'll become better. The opposite is actually true. Negative thinking is discouraging: it robs me of my motivation and effectiveness. Although it seems obvious, we so often forget that there is nothing positive about negative thinking.
Now that doesn't mean you can't have bad days. That's stupid. Everyone has bad days, bad weeks, and bad months. And sometimes complaining to someone about our problems can actually help cleanse negativity out of our systems. But letting negative thoughts stick around in our brains can only amount to heaps of discouragement, distress, and depression.
So today, start small. Counter your fears with some faith, replace your discouragement with determination. Your circumstances won't change, but your life will.

The Scoop on the Freshmen Fifteen

I've gotten this question a lot from my high school friends: Is the freshmen fifteen real? *insert edgy, scary music*

My best answer? It depends. *insert groans from Ambeajaf at my vague and unsatisfactory answer*

I remember when I was preparing for the trek up to BYU, it seemed like EVERYONE had a piece of advice to give me. Some people wanted to set me up with their grand-nephew, some people advised me against getting a job my first year, some people just had miscellaneous advice as to how to properly cook Top Ramen. Pretty much everyone, however, had advice about the freshmen fifteen. They'd tell me, eat lots of BYU Creamery ice cream, you're going to gain the freshmen fifteen anyway! Or, make sure you expect to gain the Freshmen Fifteen by the end of your first semester, it's going to happen regardless of how much you try. Whenever people would say stuff like this, I'd always laugh, but in my head, I'd also be mildly concerned. Were they expecting that I'd return home a rolling ball of fat, like Matt Meese from Studio C on a bacon cleanse? 

Despite all my joking on this subject, the Freshmen Fifteen was a real concern for me. I was raised by a health nut who taught me how food affects my body, and I was scared of being unable to control what I put in my body as I had before. I would constantly be at the mercy of what the Cannon Center was serving for dinner.
Honestly, it's still something I worry about, but now I worry more about meeting my personal health goals than avoiding the freshmen fifteen. The Freshmen Fifteen is more fiction than fact. Some people do gain weight their freshmen year, but others actually lose weight from walking around campus every day. Other people's weight fluctuates frequently, depending on the time of year or the busyness of school, while still other people's stagnates. It honestly depends on the person's previous history and lifestyle.
My point is, don't worry about it. It's way more important to be healthy than to be skinny. If you are healthy and happy, then that's what matters, even if college does mean you put on a couple extra pounds. You will learn soon enough that NOBODY CARES. Everyone is in the same situation, and there are few college students who have time to judge you for your extra weight when they themselves probably went to school in their pajamas and are living off of Hot Pockets. So don't stress.
That being said, if eating healthy is important to you, then there are ways to make that happen, even if you have to eat at the school cafeteria every day (I'll blog more about ways you can adjust your eating habits to living alone later). The same thing also applies to working out. If you love exercise and are worried about having enough time to do it college, just know that if it's important to you, you can find a way to fit it into your schedule. You can take a yoga or Zumba class, join an intramural sports team, or find a running buddy with someone in your dorm. There's always an option. Know your goals, then be flexible and creative in achieving your goals, and you can make anything happen.

Remember, your worth isn't made up of the number of laps you run at the gym or the number of chocolate chip cookies you eat. It isn't made up of numbers at all. It comes from something deeper, something diviner, something that isn't changed by choices. It just comes from being you.

So next time you are weighed down by weight, take time to count your many blessings instead. You'll soon find your mental scales tipping towards living a happier life. 

Pro Tip #5: Don't Lose Your Wallet

Really. Just don't.
This is like the sixth time I've lost my wallet this year. As this is BYU, it is usually returned to me or handed in to the Wilkinson Center Lost and Found within twenty-four hours of my losing it. I'm lucky enough that most BYUians are too nice to jack my wallet. I think I'm more at risk for someone trying to slip $5 into my wallet than someone of trying to slip $5 out. Alas, it seems that this time, my wallet may be gone for good. (Although I am still holding out hope that BYU tv's Random Acts of Kindness show actually found my wallet and will return it to me shortly with $200 and a note that says "You are the bestest" or something like that).
Unfortunately, it's not just my wallet that I lose on the daily. About a week ago, my phone fell out of my pocket on my walk to work, and I had to use find my iPhone to trace my phone back to the hands of some random dude who had picked it up. I lose my pencils all the time, usually during the exact moment my professors say "You need to write this down, it's going to be on the test". And most recently, I've been in the process of losing my mind. And my marbles? As my friend Ian would say, I can't lose those, because that would imply I had some in the first place.
Besides losing things, I also tend to get myself lost. Just this morning I was lost in the JSB, of all places, trying to find my way to the professor's office. There was also the time I got lost trying to walk home from the Provo tracks. Or the time I got lost at Knotts. Twice. (Three times? I'll have to get that fact checked). And that one time I tried to hike the Y. And- you get the point.
Side Note: I have never lost my keys, never locked myself out of my room, and never forgotten to take my keys with me when I leave. I have no idea why. My roommate can provide a testimonial if you don't believe me (although frankly, I hardly believe it myself). 
Anyways, yeah. This is day four without my wallet *gasps for air*. Since my ID card was in my wallet, I haven't been able to use my meal plan to eat except at the Cannon Center (where thankfully, they take the ID card on my phone). I've also been trying to avoid hanging out with people (which isn't that hard at the moment because I don't have a kajillion friends) because I'm afraid that they'll want to purchase something I can't afford. Because I currently can afford nada.
The upside of this ordeal (yes, there is an upside. There is always an upside) is that I've stopped my late night trips to the vending machine for fishy crackers! And I've stopped pouring my money into overpriced but delicious Caribbean Passion smoothies from Jamba Juice.
So pro tip of the day: Don't lose your wallet. If you do, you will quickly find yourself on the most bizarre combination of weight loss program and savings schedule that you could imagine. Believe me, you don't want that. Life is so much better when your pocket holds an empty wallet, your right hand holds a PB 'N Jealous, your left hand holds a fistful of fishy crackers, and the clock on your computer reads a solid one in the morning.

I Looked In the Window and What Did I See? My Popcorn Burning...

I am about to divulge the recipe for the most amazing, mouth-watering, nutritious and delicious dinner you will ever eat as a college student. Prepare to be amazed!

Serving Size: 3
Serving Size Reality: 1 (how pathetic)

Ingredients:
1 starving college kid
1 bag of microwave popcorn
1 microwave

Method:
1.) Remove plastic wrapping from bag. Bonus points if you rap while doing this.
2.) This is a hard step! Walk to the microwave. This might require you to leave your dorm, but the energy expended in completely this step pays off with the final product.
3.) Open microwave.
4.) Throw bag into microwave
5.) Spend a full minute trying to figure out how the microwave works
6.) Cook on high for 2 minutes 30 seconds
7.) Smell the air to make sure it doesn't burn
8.) When finished, hobble back to room with bag
9.) Eat and enjoy! Pairs great with water (Dasani or Arrowhead are both acceptable)

A Thousand Years (Not the Christina Perry Song)

So two Sundays ago, my stake president (aka the leader of the church in the little area that I live), gave me some great advice that I think everyone can benefit from.

One thing a lot of people hate about college is how much it can change from year to year. In high school, every year was pretty much the same for me: same friends, same lunch spot underneath the same spider-dropping tree, same AP teachers, and same extracurriculars. The sameness from year to year was part of what made high school so amazing. Tuesdays meant Showtime rehearsal from 3-5 pm, 30 something people twirling, traipsing, and tripping through music and dance. Wednesdays meant Mutual with Marsha at 7 pm (Mormon Standard time), either at the stake center or the Walnut Building. Monday mornings meant walking from seminary to school with the Mormon kids, then spending an hour or two in the library doing homework and just chilling. Most weeks were the same, most weeks were predictable, and I loved it. It was honestly the traditions and routines that helped keep me sane throughout high school. 

Then BAM! Cooooollllleeeeegggggeeeeee

College is weird because it's impossible for any semester to be similar to another. There's constantly this huge turnover of people at college. People quit school, go home for the summer, switch schools, take gap years, go on missions, study abroad, go on humanitarian trips to the Philippines, take internships in Africa, whatever. The friends you make one semester could very easily be gone the next. Moreover, even if you are lucky enough to make friends that will stick around, it's likely that you will all finish school at different times, depending on you and your friends' majors and careers. And, if you go to a big school like I do, if people move to different housing locations, you may never see them again if you don't make a conscious effort to seek the out.
All of this can equal some serious frustrations. Like, why even bother to make friends if you'll be friendless again in three months? What's the point? 

What I was challenged to do on Sunday, however, was this: "act upon this land as if for years". That little phrase comes from Doctrine and Covenants 51:16-17. If you want to read the whole thing, go here. Although this advice was originally directed to a group of early Mormon pioneers, it applies to us college kids too. We may have only four years, four months, or four weeks in a class, dorm, or ward, but we can choose to make the most out of the time we have. We can make friends, learn new things, build relationships, and make a difference. It's our choice. If we cram our mental calendars with finalities, what meaning is there to our lives? We live a life full of endings but very few beginnings. We spend our lives waiting for what comes next but then never really living life.
So my advice? Put down roots wherever you go. Pretend like you'll be wherever you are right now for another decade, and see how that changes the way you think and live.
You might even get some good friends out of it.

Pro Tip #4: I Like my Friends Extra Toasty Sometimes

So I've been rethinking my life. That's always fun...

Spring semester for me has meant going back to square one. I feel like I'm a brand spankin' new freshman all over again: I once again essentially don't know a single soul on a campus, I've been thrust into a new dorm and new ward, and my life is a disaster (#storyofmylife). I'll admit that last week was pretty rough, but this week seems to have sunshine in the forecast (not literally, it rained today RIGHT AFTER I TOOK OFF MY RAIN BOOTS, but that's another story haha)

Anyways, my friend-making process lately has been pretty sloppy. It's like I've been walking down the aisles of the BYU Creamery looking for prepackaged best friends. I've mentally been like: Oh, your sugar content is too high, I need more salt in a relationship. Or, your jokes are too funny, I need something with way more cheese. Or, oh, you have 17 grams of protein? I think that's too much "pro" and "teen" for me to handle. 

The thing is, in having set expectations for what kind of friends I've been expecting to make, I've been missing out. It's like when I went to the BYU Creamery the other day. I wanted to buy a nice, normal, original flavored box of Cheez-its. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, because they didn't have the original flavor. They had the snack mix combo, the white cheddar, the hot 'n spicy mix, the extra toasty (what the even goodness does that even mean?!) and like four other flavors, none of them were normal.
So what were my options?

I could pay like $4 to try a new Cheez-it flavor, or I could storm out of the Creamery empty handed, cranky, and still hungry. 

Needless to say, I marched home with a box of Extra Toasties under my arm, and they were a quarter of the way gone before my key was in the dorm. 

I assume you've caught on by now that I'm using Cheez-its as a metaphor for life (apologies for the cheesiness of this analogy). Like Cheez-its, people come in all kinds of flavors, colors, and sizes. But unlike Cheez-its, people and especially FRIENDS don't come in prepackaged, neatly sealed, ready-to-eat boxes. People are so much fresher and so much better than that. By expecting to make friends with certain kinds of people, I've been limiting myself to metaphorical original Cheez-its. I've also managed to make myself quite lonely and mopey. But as I've sought to be friendly to everyone, I've started to form friendships with the extra toasties and hot 'n spicys on BYU campus. People who are genuinely sweet with a not a grain of salt in their bodies, people who are actually, legitimately funny, and people who leave me feeling filled with love at 17 grams of perfect proteen. With each new flavor I try, I find myself being lifted up from my hole of self pity into a whole new hope: that someday soon, I'll have some new best friends to call my own. 

And the best part? They're not 1,650 calories a box. 

Pro Tip #3: Don't Abandon Your Laundry to the Mercies of Humanity

So funny story (great way to premise a conversation, right?)
A week or two ago I did some laundry. In Helaman Halls, there are washers and dryers in the basements of all the dorms, and they cost like $0.75 in Cougar Cash, the money which you can get loaded on your BYU ID, to run. Annnywaaay, I did my laundry and, like the typical mess I am, I totally forgot to take it out of the dryer when it was done. When I finally remembered a day or two later that I had left my stuff down there, it was gone. I think someone took it all to lost and found, but I've been too lazy to check. Unfortunately, however, my only towel was in that load of laundry, so I have been drip drying in the shower for the past week. Quite pleasant!
I guess the moral of the story is be smart when doing your laundry. Don't do your laundry when it's super busy: you're likely to forget that it's down there and infuriate someone else whose trying to do their laundry (@me). Tons of people do their laundry on Mondays and Saturdays, so maybe try doing your laundry at a weird time and day, like 3:45 on Wednesdays or something. Also, if you attempt to do laundry at a busy time, chances are the dryers will get backed up and you'll have to wait forever to finish your load.
Also, try and always pick up your laundry on time. Because of said above problem, desperate people will sometimes remove finished loads of laundry and stuff them in random corners for you to try and find later. Your life will be so much easier and your laundry so much cleaner if you move your laundry to the dryers promptly and remove your clothes from the dryers lickety-split fast.
Finally, have something to carry your laundry in. I really liked what my roommate used last semester. She had like this giant white mesh and wire basket with three sections. That way, she could sort her laundry be colors or store her clean and dirty laundry in different places. I, on the other hand, didn't have a laundry bag to use because I cut up my bag for use in a last-minute art project last semester (long story). So instead, I use a 5 gallon Home Depot bucket that I took on pioneer trek, and it works just fine. Just slightly hard to fit everything I have to clean into it.
I suppose, at some point I'm going to have to look in the lost and found for my laundry... I just really don't want to. *sigh*.
Also, Bonus Pro Tip! *insert jazz hands here* I really love using the washing machine pod soap. If you've never seen these things before, they're like plastic-encased balls of soap for a load of laundry. They're super easy to use and transport, and I would definitely recommend getting some. I picked up a Gain Flings 72 pack at the beginning of Freshmen Year, and I'm still using it.